Not much to write today…

Look! I updated…omg I need to stop mentioning that every time I write xD So, hellllooooo! The past few days have been pretty stressful to say the least but I’m hoping the next three days will be better 🙂 See guys, it’s about having the ability to stay positive and I am much much better at doing that than I used to be. Basically in the past if several terrible things started happening all at once I would lose heart and just give up on life basically…as if life would never be better again. I think I’ve grown so much as a person since I left school, life’s put me through so much so far and I’ve managed to survive which must mean that I’m pretty tough 😉 I just gotta keep being tough I guess and maybe I’ll keep being rewarded for it 🙂

I think that I don’t really have anything else I’d like to write about…I used to be able to babble on about trash for ages and ages, but I guess that somewhere along the line I’ve lost that ability…

As a side note, if anyone wants to, please go and check out my Wattpad which I will link shortly and tell me what you think of the stories that I’ve started so far 🙂 I really really need some inspiration and incentive to finish them. It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just…I get distracted by life and other things :/

http://www.wattpad.com/user/Gaara406

So about that updating once a week thing…hehe ;)

Hey guys, so I’m really really not sticking to my updating once a week schedule am I…hehehe. Oh well right! No one reads this blog anyway so I don’t see why it matters 😛 But anyway guys, I’ve still been pretty busy, I need to start applying for jobs again at some point now that we’re past new years…I should be able to find something to give me more than 7 hours a week, because the money that I’m currently getting just isn’t enough to get by every week…not when I think about all the things I’m wanting to get….LIST TIME!

Chest of drawers, new shoes (a couple of pairs), decent branded skinny jeans tbh, I’d really like a much smaller desk tbh and that’s it on my list I think atm. I’m pretty sure I’m forgetting a few things but that’s okay, it’s already looking to be a pretty pricey list especially when the drawers would be around $300 for the ones I want, the jeans being around $50 for decent jeans and a desk maybe hitting around $80? And that’s honestly not even it, I would still like to get an actual proper phone. I brought a new one a wee while ago, but it’s still not good enough for what I want to do on my phone. I’d like to be able to use apps without the phone freezing ya know?

So anyway, I’ve been staying at my boyfriends a lot, and I’m loving it. I just love waking up to see his face in the morning, and I know it sounds cheesy but it just makes me really happy. I honestly think I could wake up to that face for the rest of my life and be happy. He just makes me feel so good ya know? Like I’m loved and valued, and it’s not often that I’ve ever felt that way, so it’s kind of a new thing for me. But it’s been really good tbh, we’re looking at flatting with two of our other friends, in separate rooms of course because it’s far too soon to be invading each others space that much. I think that as long as we know we can still have our own space it’ll work out pretty great 🙂

In other news I recently started talking to an old friend again which is great, so I’m looking forward to hopefully building up that friendship again. I’d really like it I think. I really like making new friends, reacquainting old friends and just getting along with people in general, it makes me all happy inside 🙂

Now, I think I’ve done enough babbling for tonight, and I’ve enjoyed it this time, talking about things that make me happy and fuzzy inside 🙂 But yeah, I’ll write again soon! Bye bye o/

Updates…updates…

So what, it’s been over a week again. Be grateful I’m writing my blog at all! Nah, I’m just kidding, I’m only being passive aggressive….

But honestly, my life is just go, go, go right now. Like, I’ve literally been non-stop doing stuff/plans ect since before Christmas. I don’t think I’ve even played a single computer game since before Christmas…actually I lie. I played Torchlight two with my boyfriend and I played a bit of League and Dota with my friends…So I lied! So what, sue me? But seriously other than that, I’ve been video game like….weaned? It’s so weird not being shut in my room all the time, curtains closed playing video games…I think I’m learning what it’s like to live again and I’m loving it!

So I met this great guy just before Christmas…and stuff happened…honestly he’s the sweetest thing ever and I have no idea what I did to deserve him but it must have been something pretty great 🙂 I’ll make sure to hold on tight and never let him go.

Also, I’m starting a bunch of cosplay endeavors this year and it’s so exciting, I have a bunch of different cosplays planned in my head, and I now have to sort through and decide which ones I’m actually going to be properly working on. I’m doing a Charizard one alongside my friend and my boyfriend also doing Pokemon cosplays. I’m also doing Hikaru from the anime Oran Host Club! My boyfriend will be cosplaying the matching twin which is super cute and then there’s a chick I wanna cosplay from Tokyo Ghoul  as well. And maybe I’ll cosplay 9th from Mirai Nikki! Ahhh, so many things I would love to work on!

You know what else I need to work on? Getting a job! Like for shit sake Gaara…honestly…you could have gotten a job by now…well no not really tbh. Do you know how many jobs I have heard back from…..ahhhhhh NONE! Like in the last few weeks I’ve applied for a bunch of different jobs and I never heard back from any of them and it’s really quite disappointing tbh…. sigh~ There must be something I’m doing wrong right?

Annnd, I think that’s about it for my amazing life update…like omg…if there’s anyone actually reading this…you need to find a hobby xD My life is so not worth reading about 😛

Anyway bye guys

love ya ❤

All this thinking to be done…

Okay, so technically it’s just over one week, and I said I would try to write at least once every week, so what sue me? But seriously, this week has been like super full on, I’ve only been home a couple of times this week, so it’s been kinda crazy. I made some new friends which was super awesome and I had a wonderful Christmas visiting my family as I don’t really get to see any of them very often.

So, now it’s like only two more days until the new year and it’s kinda scary to be quite honest. Like, I have achieved nothing this year and I’m quite disappointed in myself. So now I’m thinking about all the things I should try to achieve next year in order to redeem myself for all the shit that I failed to accomplish this year.

So, for a starter, I either need to get a full time job, so I can actually have money or I need to invest in some sort of study. The thing is, most jobs out there require you to have either studied or have experience for which is shit really .-. Like, how are you supposed to get work experience if people don’t hire you for not having experience?! xD This fucked up system that we live in though…where nothing makes any sense.

I would ideally like to move out and away from my friends, because living with them just isn’t working anymore…it’s just causing me to stress out like all the time. I try to hide the stress from them most of the time, or if they piss me off I won’t even mention it these days because really…what is the point? They won’t listen to me at all xD

So people…I have a lot of thinking to do in like the next week or so about things I want to accomplish…and after I’ve done that…live I guess…?

New Year soon in Wonderland?

Hey guys and girls, or however you like to identified. I’d just like to say…that it’s now the end of the year and yes, yes I did forget about this blog. Like literally forgot it existed. If I’m ever hoping of being a successful blogger then forgetting about my blog probably isn’t the best thing to do.

So this year has been full of so much bullshit and drama I fucking can’t wait for it to be over. Like, I am literally over all of the bullshit that has ensued over the past year. Fucking moving like three times, bullshit flatmates, arguments with friends, fucking money problems, still not having a full time job. Like, I am so fucking over this shit. So, I think I’m actually going to start thinking about New Years resolutions this year! Horray…for wanting to be a newer and greater person! No, but seriously I want to try and achieve something next year. What I’m hoping I can do, is get into a course or something. I think that I would be a great social worker and I’ve been told by someone I would be a great social worker and I like talking to people about their problems…so maybe that’s what I should be trying for. Fuck customer service! I ain’t got time for fucking hospitality any more. Like, literally don’t have fucking time for it, I’ve been in the industry for three years now and I’m so over it, that is not how I want to spend my life.

So, how about, I write in this blog once a week at least to let people know what’s going on, and you guys keep reading? That’s a great resolution!

Anyway, hope you’re staying awesome people!

~~~~~<3 Jodez

What Makes you Happy?

I do not want to start writing this because chances are it will either turn into one big rant about everything or I will never finish it..and you will be left with unanswered questions and be confused. But I’m going to write anyway ^^ simply because…I can xD

I’ve been trying to think of brilliant ways to describe my life to you as it is now……like right now….in this present day…this minute….this second….but it’s not as easy as you think….try summing up your life in one word. I bet you can’t. Because no matter who you are, no matter what race, what gender, where you come from, what sort of upbringing you had…your life cannot be perfect…and if your life is perfect, then please tell me how you made this perfection a thing….because I am at a loss here and wish to know your secret. You may have all the money in the world, but be sad within…because money cannot buy happiness. You may be married to a beautiful woman, but not love her in the way you should….but you can’t help that…you cannot force yourself to be in love with another. Maybe you have children, but never wanted a family…..you may have all the things you need in life…..but are they what you want in life. What do you want in life? What would make you happy?

What makes me happy…? I could go on and on and list lots of things that make me happy….but what would that achieve…would it make you like me? Would it make you feel sorry for me? Would it make you want to be me? Probably none of those things…the thing about writing is…that you can pour all of your feelings and ideas onto a page….but who is really gonna care about them….who is going to pay attention really…? People will call you a liar, shun you, judge you….there are so many reasons to not print your thoughts onto paper…but maybe…maybe you do it…in the hopes that someone, somewhere learns something from your experiences…?

That’s my hope anyway….that someone, somewhere finds my words inspirational….an inspiration to keep existing as they are, being themselves and living only for themselves. And that is the reason I continue writing. I may not write as often as I should, but eyeh who’s going to tell me otherwise…. *shrugs* I will write when I want to write…when I feel like writing. And no one can tell me otherwise.

Anyway that is all for today. If you enjoyed this blog, then please don’t forget to sub me to hear more about my life and what’s up. If you do not like my views or something that I have said, then please if you choose to comment, make sure it’s not hateful and calmly state your opinion, because everyone is entitled to their opinion. And if you did like something I said in this post then you may also comment ^^.

Don’t forget to ask me questions or tell me about something you would like me to write about or ask my opinion of. I’ll be happy to answer. (:

But that is all for now \o

Bye till next time,

Love Gaara

~~~~<3

Breaking up and moving on…

Hey guys,

So I feel bad because I haven’t actually written a proper blog post for quite some time, my recent posts have been quite half assed and I feel kinda bad, because I know that people actually follow my blog. So, I’m here to tell you what’s been going on recently and ask a couple of questions.

My Crystal Beasts <3

My Crystal Beasts ❤

So, as of yesterday I entered my first every Yugioh Torny, it was only a $5 fun torny at our local card shop but it was good to be able to gauge what an actual torny will be like. I got to try out my cute little Crystal Beast cards, and I came 4th out of 13 people so I think I did okay ^^

One of my other friends came one place ahead of me, and I got honorable mentions, which was kinda cool!! But next time I’ll be using Dragon Rulers which is my actual tournament deck! >:D Prepare to be destroyed.

Annnnyway, moving on with life. So I had a question I would like to put to anyone who reads this blog. I’ll explain my situation a little better first. Okay, so I recently broke up with my boyfriend of two and a half months because I felt like he controlled me too much, and the last major fight we had was about a week before we broke up, and during that time afterwards I met another guy and started having feelings for him. Like, it feels too soon to be having feelings for someone else. And at this point I hadn’t even broken up with him yet…so it made me feel bad…..I mean I’ve only been broken up with him for about 6 days…and I feel so bad sometimes for having feelings for this other guy….

My friend tried to tell me that it was okay, you can’t help who and when you like them, and in the end you have to do what you feel is right for you right? You have to do what makes you happy right? And to top it all off, the guy likes me too….it’s almost too perfect…. ~sigh~ Is this just another disaster waiting to happen? Maybe…maybe sometimes it’s about just taking a leap of faith…and just going with whatever happens….I mean…the worst thing that could happen is that I get hurt again…and that’s fine. I mean….I already know the pain of being hurt…and maybe I’ll deserve it….just maybe I deserve it….

Look, I’m starting to get depressing again aren’t I? God damnit, anyway…moving on with life some more. I hope you guys take some time to answer my question or give me your opinion on what’s going on. Take care till next time guys,

Love you all

Love Jodez ~~~~<3